Bedtime dilemmas

Bedtime, it is supposed to be that last bit of time in the evening, after dinner and bath, you and your child sitting on his/her bed, reading books, kisses good night and all is well b/c mom gets to go try to get the house ready for the next day while child drifts off to sleep and dreams of whimsical places....right? NOT in MY world!!! Borderline Hades happening at mi casa!!!!

My little one will give you a defiant and definitive "NO!" if you ask her about going to bed. Let me tell you, I know all about rituals and schedules (you are talking a Type A person here!) I've been putting her to bed at 8:00 p.m. for the past YEAR!! We should have it down by now...nope, the past month has gotten worse and worse. She screams, she kicks, she RUNS to her door, even before you get to it and CRIES, "Mama, NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!" What do you do?????

She's not a cuddly child, so rocking is out of the picture. She'll sit with you for about five minutes in the recliner and then she's off and running, same thing happens if you try to get her to lie on the couch with or without you. She doesn't even want to read books at bedtime and I'm guessing it is because she knows what follows. Additionally, she doesn't want to take a bath and I'm thinking it is because of the same thing, too. She does still like to read, but just not after bath or in her room with me!

My sister suggested "separation axiety." Not sure b/c on most days when I drop her off at the sitter, she could care less about me. So, let's say it is separation axiety, what do you do?

I made a chart (of course I left it at work yesterday, today it is already in the car, ready to go home!) and am going to try to give her stickers and if she get's three stickers in a row, we'll go get ice cream. This goes back to my behavior management/special education training. We'll see what happens.

So, I throw it out to you....Mother's of All Knowledge, WHAT DO I DO?????? I don't want bedtime to be a negative, I don't want to "cave in" and God-forbid, let her sleep with me (don't even want that can of worms!), I don't want her to stay up all night. I am waking her up an 1.5 hour earlier and she isn't taking a longer nap. I'm trying to get her in bed thirty minutes earlier, to compensate for the time difference. She is tired when I pick her up in the evenings, so I know she needs this sleep.

HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!